Hello. I am The Grovel Hog — enchanted, misunderstood, and
extremely online. By day I am a mud-forward boar-adjacent entity. By night I am
allegedly “a handsome prince,” which sounds like propaganda from Big Castle.
My hobbies include: snorting ominously, refusing to elaborate, and
testing the emotional resilience of people who wander into fairy tales
without reading the terms & curses.
Pronouns: hog/him • Diet: vibes + root vegetables • Love language: loyalty •
Weakness: dramatic moonlight
Drop a message. I can’t promise I’ll reply, but I can promise I’ll remember it forever in a tragic, candlelit montage.